The One Best Way? Breastfeeding History, Politics, and Policy in Canada
By Tasnim Nathoo and Aleck Ostry
An excerpt of the book summary reads: “Breastfeeding has officially been considered “the one best way” for feeding infants for the past 150 years of Canadian history. This book examines the history and evolution of breastfeeding policies and practices in Canada from the end of the nineteenth century to the turn of the twenty-first. The authors’ historical approach allows current debates to be situated within a broader social, political, cultural, and economic context.”
You should get it, really. Why? Because it is fantastic, well written, engaging, and informative. Also, breastfeeding practices are relevant to every single one of our lives. There is no escaping the reality that we all had to be fed something in our infancy, and you can be certain that questions as to “the one best way” to feed babies have been swirling fervently over the years.
In fact, debates surrounding decency and harassment (see WestJet harassment article and Delta/Freedom Air complaint), safety and regulation (see Drunken Breastfeeding article), acceptability (see Facebook’s War on Nipples article), and other elements of breastfeeding are still in the forefront of our daily lives. All of this controversy despite the fact that breastfeeding is indeed touted by both governmental and non-governmental health organization as the recommended way to feed your child.
This book is both fascinating and timely. For all our recommendations and guidelines, our "progressive" attitudes, and the right to breastfeed in public, the breastfeeding debates still reign.
For more information on the book check out the Wilfrid Laurier University Press website, and follow their blog for discussions of breastfeeding in the news. To purchase, check out amazon, chapters, or your local book store.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Increasing Potential, Decreasing Expectations
I think we have a problem in our society, a problem of decreasing expectations for individuals’ intellect, growth, progress, and general achievement. As a species, we have increasing potential as to what we are capable of achieving; we have more resources available to us now than we did 100 years ago, we know more about what is required for healthy growth and development, and in North America we have a wealth of resources and knowledge at our disposal. Yet despite this, our expectations for what people are capable of achieving seem to be slipping.
Take for example our changing perspective on children’s education: We don’t fail children in elementary school anymore, lest it hurt their feelings to be held back (like illiteracy isn’t going to hurt their feelings later on); We don’t push kids to learn more efficiently in public school because “they’re just kids, they should be playing not working.” And while that may be true to a certain degree, I have a nagging feeling that the expectations for how much children should be learning and retaining may just be slipping.
Why exactly don’t we set the bar higher for kids as they learn and grow? It’s great that we let kids be kids and all, truly, I am all for play, and fun, and recreation. I am not an advocate of over scheduled overstressed kids, nor would I suggest longer hours in school. But I do believe it is important to remember that children work towards what is expected of them, and children grow up to be adults one day. If we aren’t teaching children basic life management skills, they won’t simply acquire them on the day they become adults. Teaching children to set goals, work towards achievements, focus, and cope with disappointment can be hard lessons to watch, but they are all intended to help little people become highly functioning bigger people. Left to their own devices children will not magically grow into independent, educated, articulate, employed, even content, adults.
If we don’t have expectations for our children, they won’t grow to reach them. If we treat them as though they don’t need to learn to tie their own shoes, then they won’t be able to (for no actual reason other than decreased expectations and lacking lessons). And if we teach them that they can get through school regardless of what they learn, well then, we’ll have ourselves a nation of illiterate adults, with no one to blame but ourselves.
I find this troubling. It seems that although we have just about everything we need to continue growing into our increasing human potential, we aren’t taking advantage of that.
Now I am well aware that within the overall cultural practice I am droning on about there are most undeniably people in our society who challenge themselves every chance they get. They set extremely high standards for themselves, and help propel society forward in new ways. But as a whole, as a culture responsible for building and defining our education system, and our societal expectations, I find myself seriously questioning whether our general standards and expectations are increasing in appropriate relation to our human potential.
It is possible of course that expectations simply appear to be decreasing because, well, maybe it’s because I am aging, and I do believe that this sort of complaint has been a historically consistent gripe as people age (“Back in my day ...”). But I’m not really that old, so I’m not entirely convinced that my aging explains the concern I am documenting. So maybe, maybe it’s something more nuanced. Maybe our expectations are simply remaining constant as out potential grows, thus creating the impression of decreasing expectations, when really it’s more like stagnating than actively decreasing.
Either way, I find it all a little sad. So I guess the questions of today are: (1) Does anyone else feel like maybe our expectations are slipping, or am I just being a negative nancy? And, (2) Assuming that they are decreasing, how large will the gap between potential and actual have to get before we find it problematic enough to act on?
Take for example our changing perspective on children’s education: We don’t fail children in elementary school anymore, lest it hurt their feelings to be held back (like illiteracy isn’t going to hurt their feelings later on); We don’t push kids to learn more efficiently in public school because “they’re just kids, they should be playing not working.” And while that may be true to a certain degree, I have a nagging feeling that the expectations for how much children should be learning and retaining may just be slipping.
Why exactly don’t we set the bar higher for kids as they learn and grow? It’s great that we let kids be kids and all, truly, I am all for play, and fun, and recreation. I am not an advocate of over scheduled overstressed kids, nor would I suggest longer hours in school. But I do believe it is important to remember that children work towards what is expected of them, and children grow up to be adults one day. If we aren’t teaching children basic life management skills, they won’t simply acquire them on the day they become adults. Teaching children to set goals, work towards achievements, focus, and cope with disappointment can be hard lessons to watch, but they are all intended to help little people become highly functioning bigger people. Left to their own devices children will not magically grow into independent, educated, articulate, employed, even content, adults.
If we don’t have expectations for our children, they won’t grow to reach them. If we treat them as though they don’t need to learn to tie their own shoes, then they won’t be able to (for no actual reason other than decreased expectations and lacking lessons). And if we teach them that they can get through school regardless of what they learn, well then, we’ll have ourselves a nation of illiterate adults, with no one to blame but ourselves.
I find this troubling. It seems that although we have just about everything we need to continue growing into our increasing human potential, we aren’t taking advantage of that.
Now I am well aware that within the overall cultural practice I am droning on about there are most undeniably people in our society who challenge themselves every chance they get. They set extremely high standards for themselves, and help propel society forward in new ways. But as a whole, as a culture responsible for building and defining our education system, and our societal expectations, I find myself seriously questioning whether our general standards and expectations are increasing in appropriate relation to our human potential.
It is possible of course that expectations simply appear to be decreasing because, well, maybe it’s because I am aging, and I do believe that this sort of complaint has been a historically consistent gripe as people age (“Back in my day ...”). But I’m not really that old, so I’m not entirely convinced that my aging explains the concern I am documenting. So maybe, maybe it’s something more nuanced. Maybe our expectations are simply remaining constant as out potential grows, thus creating the impression of decreasing expectations, when really it’s more like stagnating than actively decreasing.
Either way, I find it all a little sad. So I guess the questions of today are: (1) Does anyone else feel like maybe our expectations are slipping, or am I just being a negative nancy? And, (2) Assuming that they are decreasing, how large will the gap between potential and actual have to get before we find it problematic enough to act on?
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
New strategy
Okay, new strategy. Since that poetic “Welcome back” from the beginning of May really only carried us through the end of the month, at which point I apparently became entirely distracted with life and somehow managed to not post any of my thoughts, I now have a new approach. No more niceties of hello, goodbye, or (attempts at) consistent posting. Love it or leave it, you’ll just have to perch on the edge of your chair and await the spontaneous sharing of my musings. (Or you can just subscribe to the blog in your newsreader and then you’ll know tout de suite when a new posting is there for your reading pleasure.) So stay tuned, there are plenty more unclassified thoughts and written words to come ... spontaneously.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
My Dear, Sweet, Lovely Library
Some days, as I leave the library with a new stack of books clutched to my chest, I can’t help but feel like the character of a middle aged man, having just left a brothel. His unfettered joy bubbling up inside as he walks the street, passers-by oblivious to his previous actions or his private elation. Elation achieved, no less, from the women working the brothel, women whose services are tied to the concepts and images they represent, not to their authentic selves or personal substance.
It may be a bit shameful, but that is often the thought that flashes through my mind as I walk briskly from the library doors, books clutched to chest, private elation bubbling up inside. All the while thinking excitedly to myself: These compilations of text, all mine (for three whole weeks), I can smother myself in them, smell that print and paper smell, dive into them, embrace them, get completely lost in them.
It is a fabulous moment, a private gleeful sensation experienced right there in the open. Somehow that makes it feel all that much more decadent, like in borrowing books I am getting away with something devilishly sumptuous.
It’s a funny scene, one that always makes me chuckle a little. And the most peculiar detail of all is, of course, the fact that I, like the character of the middle aged man, am often not all that attached to what the specific content of my newly acquired book pile is. More often than not, that decadent gleeful sensation comes just from clutching the books to my chest and reveling in all that the experience holds. It amazes me: that people produced these books, that my library has them, that I can put them on hold from the comfort of my own living room couch, that I can borrow them for free (for free!), that I am allowed to leaf through these pages, staring at all the words that someone felt compelled to muster, and then to share. In its minutia I find it a wondrous experience.
I love my library, my own private word brothel. I am sad, at times, knowing that for whatever reason in this phase in my life I am not entirely committed to the content of the books that I checkout. For awhile I thought this might be problematic, something to examine or try and change. But I’m over that now, if books can bring me delight just by virtue of their very existence, and the library gives me unlimited access to this delight, then who am I to argue?
So thank you my dear, sweet, lovely library (and all you fabulous librarians who ensure its ongoing existence and smooth functioning), thank you for all the joy you bring, and for all the words you hold, care for, and ever so graciously share with me.
It may be a bit shameful, but that is often the thought that flashes through my mind as I walk briskly from the library doors, books clutched to chest, private elation bubbling up inside. All the while thinking excitedly to myself: These compilations of text, all mine (for three whole weeks), I can smother myself in them, smell that print and paper smell, dive into them, embrace them, get completely lost in them.
It is a fabulous moment, a private gleeful sensation experienced right there in the open. Somehow that makes it feel all that much more decadent, like in borrowing books I am getting away with something devilishly sumptuous.
It’s a funny scene, one that always makes me chuckle a little. And the most peculiar detail of all is, of course, the fact that I, like the character of the middle aged man, am often not all that attached to what the specific content of my newly acquired book pile is. More often than not, that decadent gleeful sensation comes just from clutching the books to my chest and reveling in all that the experience holds. It amazes me: that people produced these books, that my library has them, that I can put them on hold from the comfort of my own living room couch, that I can borrow them for free (for free!), that I am allowed to leaf through these pages, staring at all the words that someone felt compelled to muster, and then to share. In its minutia I find it a wondrous experience.
I love my library, my own private word brothel. I am sad, at times, knowing that for whatever reason in this phase in my life I am not entirely committed to the content of the books that I checkout. For awhile I thought this might be problematic, something to examine or try and change. But I’m over that now, if books can bring me delight just by virtue of their very existence, and the library gives me unlimited access to this delight, then who am I to argue?
So thank you my dear, sweet, lovely library (and all you fabulous librarians who ensure its ongoing existence and smooth functioning), thank you for all the joy you bring, and for all the words you hold, care for, and ever so graciously share with me.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Grow up
This article is fantastic. It's not new, but it just got passed along to me. I enjoyed it, and I hope you do to.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Big Dream Little Dream
I was taught to dream big. Not so much taught as modelled I suppose, modelled and encouraged, but all the same, the dream big perspective took root in me. I do believe that in a great many ways this is a good thing, among other things it gave me a lot of hope and insight into a world of possibilities for my own future, and for the world’s future. But in some ways I think it was also a little smidge of a hindrance.
You see, sometimes when you dream big the task/goal/dream itself can seem so big and so far flung that it feels exactly like what it is, a dream. Something rooted in the imaginary. Sure, it may well be possible, but if a big dream is so, well, dreamy, it may feel rooted in something other than the reality of who and what I (or anyone) is. This is not to say that such a dream cannot be achieved, simply that such a dream runs the risk of teetering over the edge of motivating vision, and falling into the abyss of fantastical fantasies to visit in a moment of escapist glee.
So these days I am trying something radical; I am practicing dreaming small. I am trying to let go of the grand notions of what my life could look like, and start looking at what it is, and what my dreams are for my life in the now. What do I want for my life when I let go of all my values about success, my perceptions of expectations, my desire to fulfill most all possibilities, and the big dream future. What does my life look like when I think no one is watching, and no one cares (myself included) about how big I make it?
I hear that some people live like this by default, some people have no trouble at all living their lives, going about their business, likely not thinking big or small, not really thinking at all. And for them, learning to dream big would probably be of the utmost value. But I was never one of those people, I’ve always been the thinker, the planner, the plan B-er, the steps-to-success person. And now, now I’m wondering what happens if I think less, dream within my daily reality, and settle in to my present tense a little more. Might such a shift in perspective lead to a happier or more peaceful life?
So I am giving it a go. I am trying to shake the big dream and try something different for myself. I’m challenging myself to let go of my “big” and see what happens when I embrace the historically-ignored “small.” (I suppose I could argue that in some ways I’m trying to dream even bigger here, by pushing myself to dream smaller, to think in a way that is not natural for me, but I’m afraid if I walk myself down that route I may just wander innocently, and obliviously, into a catch-22, never to be seen again...)
And so, with that, I am learning to dream small, to think small, to start thinking about the little things I want for my life, to wrap my head around the idea of being ordinary, doing nothing extraordinary with my life at all. To live as if there were no expectations or boundaries for me, to toss my constructs overboard, and to see what comes of this risky-feeling action. It is an interesting experience, and I am starting to feel that it may well end up creating more room for the extraordinary. As if, by letting go of my expectations, big dreams, and random goals I am leaving space to act, to try new things, and to create the extraordinary out of my ordinary. By not filling all the voids of myself with big fluffy socially- or personally-appropriate dreams, I am creating the necessary space to play with what my life has to offer.
It may or may not work, but hey, I’m branching out. I am trying to be quietly bold, to explore a different way of life. I figure that life, in its own short way, is long (if things go accordingly), so we might as well explore what it has to offer, what I have to offer, while we carry on along the journey.
You see, sometimes when you dream big the task/goal/dream itself can seem so big and so far flung that it feels exactly like what it is, a dream. Something rooted in the imaginary. Sure, it may well be possible, but if a big dream is so, well, dreamy, it may feel rooted in something other than the reality of who and what I (or anyone) is. This is not to say that such a dream cannot be achieved, simply that such a dream runs the risk of teetering over the edge of motivating vision, and falling into the abyss of fantastical fantasies to visit in a moment of escapist glee.
So these days I am trying something radical; I am practicing dreaming small. I am trying to let go of the grand notions of what my life could look like, and start looking at what it is, and what my dreams are for my life in the now. What do I want for my life when I let go of all my values about success, my perceptions of expectations, my desire to fulfill most all possibilities, and the big dream future. What does my life look like when I think no one is watching, and no one cares (myself included) about how big I make it?
I hear that some people live like this by default, some people have no trouble at all living their lives, going about their business, likely not thinking big or small, not really thinking at all. And for them, learning to dream big would probably be of the utmost value. But I was never one of those people, I’ve always been the thinker, the planner, the plan B-er, the steps-to-success person. And now, now I’m wondering what happens if I think less, dream within my daily reality, and settle in to my present tense a little more. Might such a shift in perspective lead to a happier or more peaceful life?
So I am giving it a go. I am trying to shake the big dream and try something different for myself. I’m challenging myself to let go of my “big” and see what happens when I embrace the historically-ignored “small.” (I suppose I could argue that in some ways I’m trying to dream even bigger here, by pushing myself to dream smaller, to think in a way that is not natural for me, but I’m afraid if I walk myself down that route I may just wander innocently, and obliviously, into a catch-22, never to be seen again...)
And so, with that, I am learning to dream small, to think small, to start thinking about the little things I want for my life, to wrap my head around the idea of being ordinary, doing nothing extraordinary with my life at all. To live as if there were no expectations or boundaries for me, to toss my constructs overboard, and to see what comes of this risky-feeling action. It is an interesting experience, and I am starting to feel that it may well end up creating more room for the extraordinary. As if, by letting go of my expectations, big dreams, and random goals I am leaving space to act, to try new things, and to create the extraordinary out of my ordinary. By not filling all the voids of myself with big fluffy socially- or personally-appropriate dreams, I am creating the necessary space to play with what my life has to offer.
It may or may not work, but hey, I’m branching out. I am trying to be quietly bold, to explore a different way of life. I figure that life, in its own short way, is long (if things go accordingly), so we might as well explore what it has to offer, what I have to offer, while we carry on along the journey.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Bring Back Home Economics
Bring it back, make it a required course in the public education system. I know, I know, how can I campaign to bring this particular course back when so many other equally important classes are being cut—music, sports, etc. They are indeed all of significant value; they are all critical to human development, and removing them is arguably an atrocity and an affront to our human growth potential. However, this little rant cannot be about the importance of every class deemed “non-essential,” that would result in a tome or two. So to keep things in check, and at a readable length, this little rant is all about the importance of Home Ec.
Looking around at the current state of North American culture, it strikes me as abundantly obvious that as a society we are lacking some basic skills in personal life management. In fact, it seems so abundantly obvious that I almost feel like it is redundant to make the case here. However, clearly it is not as obvious to everyone as it is to me, because if it was then this rant would never have arisen in the first place, and sharing it would be entirely unnecessary.
As I scan the surface of North American culture I see a society that is running up huge amounts of personal debt and walking full speed ahead towards a life determined by obesity and its associated health considerations. Basic skills like budgeting, saving, accounting, personal nutrition, and simple cooking seem clearly lacking from dominant culture. All these skills seem to me to be paramount to success—not necessarily to a successful career, but to success in life, to staying afloat, staying alive, and staying healthy. All of these basic skills that they don’t teach you in elementary math, science, or English class, that are pivotal to a successful community and successful country seem to be MIA.
Hence, bring back home economics classes. We have a problem, and we have a decent solution—a curriculum that teaches these skills to the majority of the population at a time in their lives when they can easily be learned and gradually implemented as age appropriate—so why are we busy cutting this sort of education only to spend more money on obesity related health care and other preventable costs? I just do not understand, and I know that I am not alone in this confusion.
So I am begging the general population, the parents, the administrators, and the activists to recall the days when home economics were taught to all students, and envision a day when all children in Canada, and heck, lets say all of North America, have the basic skills to manage their lives on a day to day basis. A nation where students don’t graduate from high school unable to manage a bank account, and young adults don’t graduate from undergrad still oblivious to the perils of compound interest as it relates to debt. A nation that understands that nutrition involves more than Kraft Dinner and processed grains.
This vision is within our realm of possibilities, I know it is. We have the knowledge, we have the teachers, we have the students, all we need now is the drive to make it a reality.
In my fantasies I am born in a time when common sense is common, and basic education doesn’t have to be fought for. So hop on the rosy glasses bandwagon with me and lets bring back home economics as a core elementary school class, let’s teach those wee little things how to manage their homes and manage their lives, so that when they grow up, they will know how to meet their basic needs. They can feel a little more secure in their daily lives, and their energies can be directed to other more challenging endeavours.
Looking around at the current state of North American culture, it strikes me as abundantly obvious that as a society we are lacking some basic skills in personal life management. In fact, it seems so abundantly obvious that I almost feel like it is redundant to make the case here. However, clearly it is not as obvious to everyone as it is to me, because if it was then this rant would never have arisen in the first place, and sharing it would be entirely unnecessary.
As I scan the surface of North American culture I see a society that is running up huge amounts of personal debt and walking full speed ahead towards a life determined by obesity and its associated health considerations. Basic skills like budgeting, saving, accounting, personal nutrition, and simple cooking seem clearly lacking from dominant culture. All these skills seem to me to be paramount to success—not necessarily to a successful career, but to success in life, to staying afloat, staying alive, and staying healthy. All of these basic skills that they don’t teach you in elementary math, science, or English class, that are pivotal to a successful community and successful country seem to be MIA.
Hence, bring back home economics classes. We have a problem, and we have a decent solution—a curriculum that teaches these skills to the majority of the population at a time in their lives when they can easily be learned and gradually implemented as age appropriate—so why are we busy cutting this sort of education only to spend more money on obesity related health care and other preventable costs? I just do not understand, and I know that I am not alone in this confusion.
So I am begging the general population, the parents, the administrators, and the activists to recall the days when home economics were taught to all students, and envision a day when all children in Canada, and heck, lets say all of North America, have the basic skills to manage their lives on a day to day basis. A nation where students don’t graduate from high school unable to manage a bank account, and young adults don’t graduate from undergrad still oblivious to the perils of compound interest as it relates to debt. A nation that understands that nutrition involves more than Kraft Dinner and processed grains.
This vision is within our realm of possibilities, I know it is. We have the knowledge, we have the teachers, we have the students, all we need now is the drive to make it a reality.
In my fantasies I am born in a time when common sense is common, and basic education doesn’t have to be fought for. So hop on the rosy glasses bandwagon with me and lets bring back home economics as a core elementary school class, let’s teach those wee little things how to manage their homes and manage their lives, so that when they grow up, they will know how to meet their basic needs. They can feel a little more secure in their daily lives, and their energies can be directed to other more challenging endeavours.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Optimizing Life
I fear this entry may sound a little trite and perhaps even painfully obvious to many, but I figure that’s okay, that shouldn’t really deter me, as you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to. So here I go:
Due to various injuries, travel, and plenty of crappy weather, this year my partner and I haven’t hiked as much as we like to. Recently we decided to ease back into things with a spontaneous sunny-weather post-work hike. Having completed a 45min ascent, not yet at the summit but acutely aware of the sun dipping on the horizon, we figured it was time to turn around and head back down. We were a bit miffed that we didn’t make it all the way to the summit, but were enjoying ourselves all the same. So as we were winding our way back down I mentioned that our climb wasn’t so bad, although we didn’t make it to the summit, it was far nicer than being in a gym, and at the very least we got a nice cardio workout going up, and we’re getting a decent strength session on the way down. My partner agreed, paused, and then said “yeah, but if we were in the gym we would have done the strength component first, followed by the cardio, so as to optimize our workout.”
I paused (mentally anyway), and thought on this. Frankly, I was a bit taken aback by the comment, for whatever reason it was one of the last things I imagined as a response. And yet there it was. And there, in the pause it caused, was my epiphany: You can’t optimize nature. You just can’t. You can’t optimize life; it comes the way it comes and that’s all there is to it. I was so enthused a big grin spread across my face. You just can’t optimize life. Why hadn’t I gotten that before?
Now, I don’t mean this in a fatalistic way, not in the slightest. My realization had more to do with understanding, really understanding, that life doesn’t happen in the gym (figuratively speaking), or in any sort of controlled environment. You may know a better or more idealized method for living, or handling a particular situation, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be able to use it. It may not be applicable to the reality of the setting. And at the end of the day, you just can’t optimize that.
I’m not suggesting that we all sit back as passive agents as life just trods along past us. To the contrary. The epiphany wasn’t about that, it was about understanding that you just can’t optimize everything. Life comes the way it comes, and if you accept what it is, you can see more clearly what can be done with it. Optimize your climb, optimize your descent, optimize your company, or optimize your mentality, just don’t waste your time trying to optimize the direction of the mountain, that’s the way nature made it. I’m not saying don’t hope for more, or different, and I’m not saying don’t pack your bags and go find a canyon if that’s what you are actually looking for. I’m saying don’t start digging up the mountain to make it fit your life. Consider what is in the realm of optimization, and what is not. And then act from there.
I know that I’ve had this sort of thought millions of times before, and heard it spoken in myriad different ways, but for some reason the spontaneous way in which it came to me on this day just felt so profound, and so suddenly clear: You can’t optimize life, so just stop trying. Maybe I’m finally understanding the concept of “letting go” (a substantial challenge for a personality like myself). Or perhaps this is what is meant when people say that you should approach life with a “lighter touch.” I’m not entirely sure. But I do feel invigorated by this new perspective. And that my friends, seemed worthy of sharing.
Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. But hey, I’ve put it out there, and now you can optimize it as you see fitting.
Due to various injuries, travel, and plenty of crappy weather, this year my partner and I haven’t hiked as much as we like to. Recently we decided to ease back into things with a spontaneous sunny-weather post-work hike. Having completed a 45min ascent, not yet at the summit but acutely aware of the sun dipping on the horizon, we figured it was time to turn around and head back down. We were a bit miffed that we didn’t make it all the way to the summit, but were enjoying ourselves all the same. So as we were winding our way back down I mentioned that our climb wasn’t so bad, although we didn’t make it to the summit, it was far nicer than being in a gym, and at the very least we got a nice cardio workout going up, and we’re getting a decent strength session on the way down. My partner agreed, paused, and then said “yeah, but if we were in the gym we would have done the strength component first, followed by the cardio, so as to optimize our workout.”
I paused (mentally anyway), and thought on this. Frankly, I was a bit taken aback by the comment, for whatever reason it was one of the last things I imagined as a response. And yet there it was. And there, in the pause it caused, was my epiphany: You can’t optimize nature. You just can’t. You can’t optimize life; it comes the way it comes and that’s all there is to it. I was so enthused a big grin spread across my face. You just can’t optimize life. Why hadn’t I gotten that before?
Now, I don’t mean this in a fatalistic way, not in the slightest. My realization had more to do with understanding, really understanding, that life doesn’t happen in the gym (figuratively speaking), or in any sort of controlled environment. You may know a better or more idealized method for living, or handling a particular situation, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be able to use it. It may not be applicable to the reality of the setting. And at the end of the day, you just can’t optimize that.
I’m not suggesting that we all sit back as passive agents as life just trods along past us. To the contrary. The epiphany wasn’t about that, it was about understanding that you just can’t optimize everything. Life comes the way it comes, and if you accept what it is, you can see more clearly what can be done with it. Optimize your climb, optimize your descent, optimize your company, or optimize your mentality, just don’t waste your time trying to optimize the direction of the mountain, that’s the way nature made it. I’m not saying don’t hope for more, or different, and I’m not saying don’t pack your bags and go find a canyon if that’s what you are actually looking for. I’m saying don’t start digging up the mountain to make it fit your life. Consider what is in the realm of optimization, and what is not. And then act from there.
I know that I’ve had this sort of thought millions of times before, and heard it spoken in myriad different ways, but for some reason the spontaneous way in which it came to me on this day just felt so profound, and so suddenly clear: You can’t optimize life, so just stop trying. Maybe I’m finally understanding the concept of “letting go” (a substantial challenge for a personality like myself). Or perhaps this is what is meant when people say that you should approach life with a “lighter touch.” I’m not entirely sure. But I do feel invigorated by this new perspective. And that my friends, seemed worthy of sharing.
Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. But hey, I’ve put it out there, and now you can optimize it as you see fitting.
Welcome back
Right, well, the blog took an accidental hiatus for April as I got swept up in the technicalities of a different project. But I missed the blog, and we’ll just go on ahead and anthropomorphize the blog and say that it missed me too (aww, isn’t that sweet? I feel so loved and attended to).
So, with that out in the open, let’s start with a little “welcome back” (Welcome back!) and then ease ourselves back into the perilous terrain of my mind... careful not to trip now, there’s a big ol’ thought lying in the middle of the path there.
So, with that out in the open, let’s start with a little “welcome back” (Welcome back!) and then ease ourselves back into the perilous terrain of my mind... careful not to trip now, there’s a big ol’ thought lying in the middle of the path there.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Rev your mind. Seriously, do it.
What's with all the vacant people, staring off into their own personal voids?
And I don’t mean those people (myself included) that you catch off guard, enjoying a quiet moment of retreat, staring off into the beautiful recesses of one’s own mind. No, I mean those people with the vacant look, you know the one I mean: The blank stare, the empty gaze, the blinks that taunt you while you wait, patiently, for a response from the customer “service” employee at a low-cost shopping centre.
I just don’t understand, what is with that? Why is it that some people, a great many people, far too many people, just don't seem to be able to get their minds in gear, any gear. Not even when it is requested, or even needed?
I just don’t understand how this is possible. I understand not knowing an answer, I understand not running in high gear, or being the smartest kid on the block, I even understand being completely uninterested in your job and by virtue not engaging in it. But what I don’t understand is how some people can just stare off into space when asked a direct question, or instructed on a job, or while conversing with a customer; just stare, and blink. It is so far from anything I can wrap my head around.
Truly, it is one thing to not be all that motivated, or move a little sluggishly, or something of that sort. But it seems something altogether different to see people who appear to be trapped in a perpetual state of vacancy, like their mind went for a little stroll at some point and got lost on the way back. I wonder, is this type of mental functioning avoidable? How is it that some people seem to live their lives in this way?
In sharing all of this I’m not trying to be rude, not at all. I’m actually sharing all of this because witnessing this mental vacancy (with alarming frequency) has led me to a little fantasy. Imagine what we could accomplish as a society if we could teach people how to engage their minds at will (or I guess I would settle for just engaging their minds at all).
Come, dream with me for a moment: picture a nation of revved minds, engaged, connected, heck, since this is my dream, let’s even say respectful. Imagine it. Think of what life would be like if people could identify when they needed to engage with a situation, leave the comfort of their void and rev themselves into gear. Just think of all that we could accomplish. It would be a beautiful and amazing thing. With so much potential for growth, and development, progress, success, and discovery, I really do believe it would be a stunning sight, a phenomenal sight. And I really do believe that it is possible, if we want it.
So why then don't we teach people how to master their own mind and engage at will (or at all)? or something akin to that? (Aside from the obvious answer that our standards of education have been swirling down the loo for ages, with decreasing expectations for student knowledge and increasing expectations for making everyone feel warm and fuzzy.) How is it that this is not an educational priority? Do we not know how to teach people to engage their minds? Is it that as a culture we don’t value mental engagement (that would be devastatingly sad)? Or does it simply consume significantly more resources to teach this?
So many questions, so few answers. (If anyone reading this happens to have the answers, or studies examining the answers, do share.)
I don’t seem to have any sort of grand poetic conclusion for this thought. I suppose my bottom line is that I believe that we, people, are capable of so much more, individually and collectively, and I strongly suspect that active and engaged minds are critical to leading us down the road of advancement. So until we figure our how to rev people’s minds en masse, here’s to revving your own mind, and nudging your neighbours to do the same.
nudge nudge.
And I don’t mean those people (myself included) that you catch off guard, enjoying a quiet moment of retreat, staring off into the beautiful recesses of one’s own mind. No, I mean those people with the vacant look, you know the one I mean: The blank stare, the empty gaze, the blinks that taunt you while you wait, patiently, for a response from the customer “service” employee at a low-cost shopping centre.
I just don’t understand, what is with that? Why is it that some people, a great many people, far too many people, just don't seem to be able to get their minds in gear, any gear. Not even when it is requested, or even needed?
I just don’t understand how this is possible. I understand not knowing an answer, I understand not running in high gear, or being the smartest kid on the block, I even understand being completely uninterested in your job and by virtue not engaging in it. But what I don’t understand is how some people can just stare off into space when asked a direct question, or instructed on a job, or while conversing with a customer; just stare, and blink. It is so far from anything I can wrap my head around.
Truly, it is one thing to not be all that motivated, or move a little sluggishly, or something of that sort. But it seems something altogether different to see people who appear to be trapped in a perpetual state of vacancy, like their mind went for a little stroll at some point and got lost on the way back. I wonder, is this type of mental functioning avoidable? How is it that some people seem to live their lives in this way?
In sharing all of this I’m not trying to be rude, not at all. I’m actually sharing all of this because witnessing this mental vacancy (with alarming frequency) has led me to a little fantasy. Imagine what we could accomplish as a society if we could teach people how to engage their minds at will (or I guess I would settle for just engaging their minds at all).
Come, dream with me for a moment: picture a nation of revved minds, engaged, connected, heck, since this is my dream, let’s even say respectful. Imagine it. Think of what life would be like if people could identify when they needed to engage with a situation, leave the comfort of their void and rev themselves into gear. Just think of all that we could accomplish. It would be a beautiful and amazing thing. With so much potential for growth, and development, progress, success, and discovery, I really do believe it would be a stunning sight, a phenomenal sight. And I really do believe that it is possible, if we want it.
So why then don't we teach people how to master their own mind and engage at will (or at all)? or something akin to that? (Aside from the obvious answer that our standards of education have been swirling down the loo for ages, with decreasing expectations for student knowledge and increasing expectations for making everyone feel warm and fuzzy.) How is it that this is not an educational priority? Do we not know how to teach people to engage their minds? Is it that as a culture we don’t value mental engagement (that would be devastatingly sad)? Or does it simply consume significantly more resources to teach this?
So many questions, so few answers. (If anyone reading this happens to have the answers, or studies examining the answers, do share.)
I don’t seem to have any sort of grand poetic conclusion for this thought. I suppose my bottom line is that I believe that we, people, are capable of so much more, individually and collectively, and I strongly suspect that active and engaged minds are critical to leading us down the road of advancement. So until we figure our how to rev people’s minds en masse, here’s to revving your own mind, and nudging your neighbours to do the same.
nudge nudge.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Different, but Same Same
We recently got back from (a fabulous trip to) Vietnam where a common saying in sales pitches is "same same, but different." The line is hilarious, and has become a bit of a motto or slogan within the tourist component of the country (I can’t speak to the local experience). You can buy t-shirts and postcards with the line on it, and you are bound to hear it at least once a day. While the line gets a chuckle at first, the more we heard it, and used it, the more we felt it grow on us: like it really does fit as a descriptor for so many things in life.
Although I love this line, and I feel there is an unacknowledged accuracy to it that many people simply overlook, it is often cited in a mocking or deprecating tone by people who feel they have been swindled into a knock off product or less-than-promised experience (which can often times be the case, but certainly isn’t always the case). For example, once in Vietnam you may be lured into purchasing a little beach getaway trip departing from one of the bigger cities, and although the pictures of your beautiful beach vacation look divine, when you get to the beach it may be filthy with garbage and have a no swimming sign up. See: same same but different. Same same in that you are indeed on a vacation on a beach, but different in that it isn’t the fantasy beach vacation that you thought you were buying.
I suppose that in some ways the sentence serves as a reminder that looks can be deceiving, and when making any sort of transaction you need to be clear and forthright about what you are looking for and what you can expect. Or, perhaps the line is just a simple truth about many products and services (the world over), the effects of globalization and all.
Hmmm, evidently there is a lot that can be discussed regarding this catchy little line. But lest I get lost in all its possible nuances, I will carry on to the second part of my story.
So upon our return I received via post my freshly “repaired” computer. This pesky little computer has been falling ill since early in its young life, and at this point I am far too familiar (and frustrated) with the customer service staff to expect any sort of sign that they understand the symptoms I am describing. Or to expect that they offer any hint at clear insight or information as to what exactly is going on with my computer, or who specifically will be tending to it. So, having shipped off the little bugger before we went on vacation, I received it back shortly after our return. Nicely timed if I do say so myself.
When I opened up the shipping box I found a concise notice that assured me in no particular detail (or any detail whatsoever) that the computer has been fully repaired. Skeptical at the lack of description I turned to my "newly repaired" laptop, popped the screen up, and uncovered a shockingly dusty keyboard. A little surprised that the computer has come back to me this much dustier than it was on departure, I refocus my attention on booting up my little rockstar. Hmm. The obnoxious bootup error screen is unfortunately the first thing I see when I try and start my newly repaired computer. Oddly enough, it is exactly the same screen that I saw just before I sent it away. And so I paused. Same error screen; more dust; generic letter reassuring me that all is well.
take pause here people
Is all really well? Has anyone actually looked at my computer? Is it actually fixed? How can I tell? I can’t call the person who worked on it, their number would be unlisted if their name was even provided. Should I call the helpline in India and see if they know any more than I do? It seems unlikely that they would given how little they know every other time I call. Crap. I feel like I’ve just been snowed, big time.
And in that moment, in that realization, it struck me: different, but same same. For all our “advances,” for all our fabulous systems, and stunning implementations, for all our supposed growth, and all our cited difference, in a great many ways countries the world over are all still “same same.”
In this case, the only difference is that in Canada, I can’t actually speak to the person who supposedly worked on my computer. In that moment I pined for Vietnam. I wished I was in Vietnam or in any country where I could ask a person directly whether they were scamming me or not, see their face, check out their posture, ask many many probing questions to try and figure out whether anyone had actually worked on the laptop. But I was nowhere like that. I was in Canada, where all I have to cling to is a few words on a generic piece of white paper “your computer has been fully repaired”
sure it has.
I know that there are endless differences between nations, big, bold, glaring differences: socialism, capitalism, health care standards, living wages, education standards, accessibility, human rights, oppression, and on and on it goes. But I think that within all those differences, tucked neatly between all the people that make up these nations, there are also a fair number of similarities, little, inconspicuous, fundamental similarities. Different in many ways perhaps, but also same same.
Although I love this line, and I feel there is an unacknowledged accuracy to it that many people simply overlook, it is often cited in a mocking or deprecating tone by people who feel they have been swindled into a knock off product or less-than-promised experience (which can often times be the case, but certainly isn’t always the case). For example, once in Vietnam you may be lured into purchasing a little beach getaway trip departing from one of the bigger cities, and although the pictures of your beautiful beach vacation look divine, when you get to the beach it may be filthy with garbage and have a no swimming sign up. See: same same but different. Same same in that you are indeed on a vacation on a beach, but different in that it isn’t the fantasy beach vacation that you thought you were buying.
I suppose that in some ways the sentence serves as a reminder that looks can be deceiving, and when making any sort of transaction you need to be clear and forthright about what you are looking for and what you can expect. Or, perhaps the line is just a simple truth about many products and services (the world over), the effects of globalization and all.
Hmmm, evidently there is a lot that can be discussed regarding this catchy little line. But lest I get lost in all its possible nuances, I will carry on to the second part of my story.
So upon our return I received via post my freshly “repaired” computer. This pesky little computer has been falling ill since early in its young life, and at this point I am far too familiar (and frustrated) with the customer service staff to expect any sort of sign that they understand the symptoms I am describing. Or to expect that they offer any hint at clear insight or information as to what exactly is going on with my computer, or who specifically will be tending to it. So, having shipped off the little bugger before we went on vacation, I received it back shortly after our return. Nicely timed if I do say so myself.
When I opened up the shipping box I found a concise notice that assured me in no particular detail (or any detail whatsoever) that the computer has been fully repaired. Skeptical at the lack of description I turned to my "newly repaired" laptop, popped the screen up, and uncovered a shockingly dusty keyboard. A little surprised that the computer has come back to me this much dustier than it was on departure, I refocus my attention on booting up my little rockstar. Hmm. The obnoxious bootup error screen is unfortunately the first thing I see when I try and start my newly repaired computer. Oddly enough, it is exactly the same screen that I saw just before I sent it away. And so I paused. Same error screen; more dust; generic letter reassuring me that all is well.
take pause here people
Is all really well? Has anyone actually looked at my computer? Is it actually fixed? How can I tell? I can’t call the person who worked on it, their number would be unlisted if their name was even provided. Should I call the helpline in India and see if they know any more than I do? It seems unlikely that they would given how little they know every other time I call. Crap. I feel like I’ve just been snowed, big time.
And in that moment, in that realization, it struck me: different, but same same. For all our “advances,” for all our fabulous systems, and stunning implementations, for all our supposed growth, and all our cited difference, in a great many ways countries the world over are all still “same same.”
In this case, the only difference is that in Canada, I can’t actually speak to the person who supposedly worked on my computer. In that moment I pined for Vietnam. I wished I was in Vietnam or in any country where I could ask a person directly whether they were scamming me or not, see their face, check out their posture, ask many many probing questions to try and figure out whether anyone had actually worked on the laptop. But I was nowhere like that. I was in Canada, where all I have to cling to is a few words on a generic piece of white paper “your computer has been fully repaired”
sure it has.
I know that there are endless differences between nations, big, bold, glaring differences: socialism, capitalism, health care standards, living wages, education standards, accessibility, human rights, oppression, and on and on it goes. But I think that within all those differences, tucked neatly between all the people that make up these nations, there are also a fair number of similarities, little, inconspicuous, fundamental similarities. Different in many ways perhaps, but also same same.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
What's with the name?
So what's with the "unclassified thoughts and written words" title? Let me explain.
Unclassified thoughts: Blogging never interested me because I a) didn't want to over share my personal life with random internet readers, and b) never had an obvious theme that I passionately wanted to write about day in and day out. And given my limited understanding of blogging, I was under the clearly misguided impression that you had to fall into one of those two parameters to truly blog (whatever that means). Recently, however, through discussion with a friend, it finally occurred to my overly structured little mind that I can go ahead and write out my random thoughts on a blog—without clearly defining a blog theme and a predetermined set of topic parameters. What a novel idea, one that embarrassingly enough would likely never have occurred to me on my own. Regardless, that notion set me free to give this old blogging thing a proper go.
Now I suppose that technically speaking we could say that “thoughts” is the theme of this here blog. While the “unclassified” descriptor catches my intention of each posting being allowed to be a standalone thought, without having to fit into a larger theme or, ehem, classification.
That explains the first half of the title, now on to the second.
Written words: Well, that's pretty self explanatory. The thoughts are written out with words, not spoken or conveyed through diagram (at least not often anyway). Although I suspect that the topics or ideas, the thoughts if you will, often emerge from things I have, or would like to, converse about, here they are written about with the beautiful and always functional word.
And thus, unclassified thoughts and written words, that is what you will find on this blog.
So there you have it. I’m kind of enjoying this forum for running through current thoughts bouncing around my head, and I sincerely hope that you are too.
Unclassified thoughts: Blogging never interested me because I a) didn't want to over share my personal life with random internet readers, and b) never had an obvious theme that I passionately wanted to write about day in and day out. And given my limited understanding of blogging, I was under the clearly misguided impression that you had to fall into one of those two parameters to truly blog (whatever that means). Recently, however, through discussion with a friend, it finally occurred to my overly structured little mind that I can go ahead and write out my random thoughts on a blog—without clearly defining a blog theme and a predetermined set of topic parameters. What a novel idea, one that embarrassingly enough would likely never have occurred to me on my own. Regardless, that notion set me free to give this old blogging thing a proper go.
Now I suppose that technically speaking we could say that “thoughts” is the theme of this here blog. While the “unclassified” descriptor catches my intention of each posting being allowed to be a standalone thought, without having to fit into a larger theme or, ehem, classification.
That explains the first half of the title, now on to the second.
Written words: Well, that's pretty self explanatory. The thoughts are written out with words, not spoken or conveyed through diagram (at least not often anyway). Although I suspect that the topics or ideas, the thoughts if you will, often emerge from things I have, or would like to, converse about, here they are written about with the beautiful and always functional word.
And thus, unclassified thoughts and written words, that is what you will find on this blog.
So there you have it. I’m kind of enjoying this forum for running through current thoughts bouncing around my head, and I sincerely hope that you are too.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Food for Thought
There’s a lot of excitement these days about the new legislation (of which I know embarrassingly little about) that has fast food chains posting nutritional information alongside menu items. I’m not sure if this happens at all in Canada (yet), but I’ve seen plenty of it across the US of late. And while the public posting of nutritional information makes for remarkably engaging reading material while waiting around at the airport, I can’t help but wonder: will this really help any in attending to the pervasive growth of preventable nutrition-related illnesses?
Now, I’m not looking to be a negative nancy about all of this, really, I’m just wondering whether posting nutritional info in this way is really likely to accomplish all that much. Personally I love ready access to such information. I find it fascinating. Who knew they could smash so many empty calories into "normal" size items: like fitting a whole day's worth of calories into a hamburger, or a muffin; a muffin?! Frankly, it's like a game for me, reading all this "nutritional" information, it enthralls me, it fascinates me, and it kinda frightens me. But I realize that I am an anomaly not the norm. I love reading labels, I have a vested interest in what I put in my body, and I am an inquisitive person by nature. For those people who don't share said peculiarities of personality, do you really think that posting nutritional information on signs will make a difference to their daily food choices?
Do people even understand what the information means? Moreover, do they care?
Really now, what is the average level of nutrition literacy these days? (My guess would be that it’s disturbingly low, but that’s not rooted in any research.) So, if people aren’t taught how to interpret nutritional information, then what exactly is the point in posting it right, left, and centre (aside from fascination for some). Is the idea that increased visibility will increase a curiosity for more knowledge, or contribute to some sort of passive increase in literacy?
I confess, I’m being difficult. I do feel that there can be some incremental gains from shoving this sort of horrific information in your face. Indeed one could argue that by making the information more public more people might be compelled to start improving their nutritional literacy. This may not prompt someone to walk out of their already selected lunch location, but it may well deter them from coming back … so soon. However, with that said, we can’t deny that nutritional labelling has been in effect for years now, and clearly that hasn’t resolved the lack of personal education or interest people have in what they consume.
Perhaps it's a deeper problem? People don't respect themselves, their bodies, and the simple delicacy of human life, so why bother caring about what we do to ourselves. That would be sad. But if that is the reality, then should we not be targeting the prevention of nutrition and health related illnesses (obesity, diabetes, etc. ) at a more fundamental level: Teaching people at a young age to respect themselves, their bodies, and heck, life in general. Seems like that might be a useful little kernel of knowledge to impart on all those young minds.
I don’t know, maybe its just me on this one, but while seeing the 1000 calorie burgers available for purchase succeeded in turning me off my own healthy lunch, not to mention ever consuming at the chain in question, it didn’t seem to deter the plethora of overweight and obese people crowding the line for a quick bite. So maybe the unfortunate reality here is that this nutritional information is targeting the wrong crowd, and simply serving to reinforce the pre-existing divide between those with and those without nutritional literacy.
Now, I’m not looking to be a negative nancy about all of this, really, I’m just wondering whether posting nutritional info in this way is really likely to accomplish all that much. Personally I love ready access to such information. I find it fascinating. Who knew they could smash so many empty calories into "normal" size items: like fitting a whole day's worth of calories into a hamburger, or a muffin; a muffin?! Frankly, it's like a game for me, reading all this "nutritional" information, it enthralls me, it fascinates me, and it kinda frightens me. But I realize that I am an anomaly not the norm. I love reading labels, I have a vested interest in what I put in my body, and I am an inquisitive person by nature. For those people who don't share said peculiarities of personality, do you really think that posting nutritional information on signs will make a difference to their daily food choices?
Do people even understand what the information means? Moreover, do they care?
Really now, what is the average level of nutrition literacy these days? (My guess would be that it’s disturbingly low, but that’s not rooted in any research.) So, if people aren’t taught how to interpret nutritional information, then what exactly is the point in posting it right, left, and centre (aside from fascination for some). Is the idea that increased visibility will increase a curiosity for more knowledge, or contribute to some sort of passive increase in literacy?
I confess, I’m being difficult. I do feel that there can be some incremental gains from shoving this sort of horrific information in your face. Indeed one could argue that by making the information more public more people might be compelled to start improving their nutritional literacy. This may not prompt someone to walk out of their already selected lunch location, but it may well deter them from coming back … so soon. However, with that said, we can’t deny that nutritional labelling has been in effect for years now, and clearly that hasn’t resolved the lack of personal education or interest people have in what they consume.
Perhaps it's a deeper problem? People don't respect themselves, their bodies, and the simple delicacy of human life, so why bother caring about what we do to ourselves. That would be sad. But if that is the reality, then should we not be targeting the prevention of nutrition and health related illnesses (obesity, diabetes, etc. ) at a more fundamental level: Teaching people at a young age to respect themselves, their bodies, and heck, life in general. Seems like that might be a useful little kernel of knowledge to impart on all those young minds.
I don’t know, maybe its just me on this one, but while seeing the 1000 calorie burgers available for purchase succeeded in turning me off my own healthy lunch, not to mention ever consuming at the chain in question, it didn’t seem to deter the plethora of overweight and obese people crowding the line for a quick bite. So maybe the unfortunate reality here is that this nutritional information is targeting the wrong crowd, and simply serving to reinforce the pre-existing divide between those with and those without nutritional literacy.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Something to be proud of?
So, here’s how it all began. My friend and I, and our respective partners, went out for a drink. We got to talking about how you spend so many young adult years trying to figure out what you want to do with your life, and neither of us thought that as we near the end of our twenties we would still be trying to answer that same question. At some point in this conversation I mentioned that I was only now starting to incorporate “raising your children” as a legitimate career option, a legitimate path for at least one part of your life. I had always thought that child rearing was just something that you did in addition to whatever else you do with your time—which is not to say that I ever, even for a fleeting second, thought that being a stay at home parent was not work, or not hard, or not desirable, I just never thought that it was a legitimate and/or respected career path. (Perhaps I was right on at least one of those points). As soon as I said this my friend jumped, and said “see, I disagree, I don’t think that raising your kids is anything to be overly proud of. People do it all the time, and we don't need to be giving out gold stars for that”
(Now before you go getting all cranky with my friend, you should note that we were talking over drinks, among friends, very good friends, and we’re the forthright variety of friends.)
So, on followed an interesting but prematurely digressing discussion on whether being a stay-at-home mom was actually a career option, and/or whether it should be. Before too long, our conversation had shifted to other loosely related topics and we let this one go, but the idea itself has lingered in my mind, and in order to set those final thoughts free I share them with you here:
Supervising a child, ensuring that he or she doesn’t maim or kill him/herself or anyone else before late adolescence may not be anything to be overly chuffed about. Sure, millions of people do that every day, all over the world. But, I suspect that raising a child is a task in another category.
Let me explain what I mean by “raising.” I mean nurturing growth, fostering critical thought and intellectual development, enabling and guiding a young person to (to borrow the army's slogan here) be all they can be. And yes, also to supervise the meeting of their most basic physical and mental needs through late adolescence. To do all of that, I believe, is a very different job than the basic supervision that happens all too often. And indeed, I believe it is something to be mighty chuffed about.
I think the actual grit of raising children, the stuff that changes the job from a part-time affair to a full time affair—the fostering of intellectual growth, teaching awareness and intention, self-control and personally guided self-growth—these sorts of things are so undervalued and unexplained to the average person in North America (I can't speak for the rest of the world) that most people don't even realizing what’s being missed, or briskly glossed over, in the rearing of their children. The result: millions of people never challenged to meet their personal capacity, not engaged in their own lives or the world that surrounds them. In short, not living up to their potential.
The job of raising children appears to be punted around in our society, from parents, to nannies, to teachers, to extra curric providers, and so forth. And although all of these people may well play critical roles in child rearing and development (personally I happen to feel that everyone plays a role in children’s growth), I think the glitch in our current societal approach is that instead of all of these people feeling that they play a key role, nobody thinks that they are responsible. Everyone is under the impression that it is someone else's job to cover the basics of human development. The end result, lost potential.
So I guess if I were to finish the conversation that my friend and I started I would say yeah, I think that raising children is a big job. And I think doing it in the fullest sense of the job description is definitely something to cheer about. And yup, I say it is absolutely a legitimate use of ones time, and further I would argue that it is also a legitimate career path (for those for whom it is financially viable, which is a whole other discussion unto itself). And while supervising a child through physical development may not be anything to give out gold stars for (although it may be, that too could be a whole other discussion), raising a child is something that really could change the world. Not in grand Nobel-prize-winning sweeping strokes, but in solid strides forward.
My vote goes for solid strides.
(Now before you go getting all cranky with my friend, you should note that we were talking over drinks, among friends, very good friends, and we’re the forthright variety of friends.)
So, on followed an interesting but prematurely digressing discussion on whether being a stay-at-home mom was actually a career option, and/or whether it should be. Before too long, our conversation had shifted to other loosely related topics and we let this one go, but the idea itself has lingered in my mind, and in order to set those final thoughts free I share them with you here:
Supervising a child, ensuring that he or she doesn’t maim or kill him/herself or anyone else before late adolescence may not be anything to be overly chuffed about. Sure, millions of people do that every day, all over the world. But, I suspect that raising a child is a task in another category.
Let me explain what I mean by “raising.” I mean nurturing growth, fostering critical thought and intellectual development, enabling and guiding a young person to (to borrow the army's slogan here) be all they can be. And yes, also to supervise the meeting of their most basic physical and mental needs through late adolescence. To do all of that, I believe, is a very different job than the basic supervision that happens all too often. And indeed, I believe it is something to be mighty chuffed about.
I think the actual grit of raising children, the stuff that changes the job from a part-time affair to a full time affair—the fostering of intellectual growth, teaching awareness and intention, self-control and personally guided self-growth—these sorts of things are so undervalued and unexplained to the average person in North America (I can't speak for the rest of the world) that most people don't even realizing what’s being missed, or briskly glossed over, in the rearing of their children. The result: millions of people never challenged to meet their personal capacity, not engaged in their own lives or the world that surrounds them. In short, not living up to their potential.
The job of raising children appears to be punted around in our society, from parents, to nannies, to teachers, to extra curric providers, and so forth. And although all of these people may well play critical roles in child rearing and development (personally I happen to feel that everyone plays a role in children’s growth), I think the glitch in our current societal approach is that instead of all of these people feeling that they play a key role, nobody thinks that they are responsible. Everyone is under the impression that it is someone else's job to cover the basics of human development. The end result, lost potential.
So I guess if I were to finish the conversation that my friend and I started I would say yeah, I think that raising children is a big job. And I think doing it in the fullest sense of the job description is definitely something to cheer about. And yup, I say it is absolutely a legitimate use of ones time, and further I would argue that it is also a legitimate career path (for those for whom it is financially viable, which is a whole other discussion unto itself). And while supervising a child through physical development may not be anything to give out gold stars for (although it may be, that too could be a whole other discussion), raising a child is something that really could change the world. Not in grand Nobel-prize-winning sweeping strokes, but in solid strides forward.
My vote goes for solid strides.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Going Public
I am an introvert. Some people may not believe that, but it's true. I like to be behind the scenes, I like to sit in quiet spaces, I like to observe and reflect. I share this information to contextualize this blog. It's a project you see. I am trying to grow, taking my words and my thoughts a little more public. So here we go, come along for the ride, come along for the words, I hope what you read here makes you smile, or think, or grow, or perhaps it will inspire you to live bold, or it may even facilitate some fabulous experience in your own life. Here's to that. Happy days.
xo the author
xo the author
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